Dear Alpana: 12 Months

It has been twelve months since my sweet spirit partner, Alpana, passed away.

How do you mark time on the soul's journey? You send daily prayers into the heavens, hoping their gossamer threads will be enough to link eternity with our heavy existence here. Twelve months hardly seems to matter in the infinite, but twelve months here is long hollow knocking in the heart. This is to say, I have faith in Alpana's continued journey (she's one spicy spirit up there!), but I wonder at my own lumpy progress.

How do you mourn a phantom limb? The body and mind remember it, need it, and even briefly forget that its gone. (The latter, when it occurs, is a searing terror that can take your breath away as you whisper a "please.") My daily discussions with Alpana and sparks of her brilliance that can blaze across my path, remind me that this unique and important part of myself, my cherished friend, still exists.

How do you live in The Other Half? I'm still trying to figure it out. I'm praying. I'm breathing with mindfulness. I'm speaking my mind as she did so well. I remember you, Little One.

Thank you all for your ongoing help and support during this past year. And to Alpana's parents and all her friends who are missing her also, I send you love and prayers as well. Namaste.

In the words of Maria McKee, "I'm her twin/I live in The Other Half"...