Don't Touch That Dial!

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I'm in a TV state of mind today. Maybe because it is cold and rainy in New York City today, and I would rather be in front of my telly than just about anywhere. Or maybe because of the sheer awesomeness of someone taking the time to shoot an elaborate series of thought-provoking photos of Playskool figures watching TV. (Bunch o' couch potatoes! When I was a kid, my Playskool characters did active things like ride motorcycles and go camping. Not to mention walking to school everyday. Uphill. Both ways.)

Actually, I'm rather inspired following a "TV Celebrity Guest-Bartender" charity event that I attended last night. It was at one of those Midtown bars that can't decide what it wants to be when it grows up. Flat screen TVs = sports bar. Large bouncers = phat club. Disco ball = the scene from The Jerk when everyone is doing the hustle in Steve Martin's private dance hall only they all have gone cross-eyed from his "Opti-Grab" glasses accessory, and he ends up with his pants around his ankles holding a chair and a paddleball game. Last night's bar was all this and handily located right around the corner from that beacon of hope, Port Authority.

Now, I didn't mind paying the $20 donation at the door, primarily because it was a good cause for needy kids and also because I was out of cash so Lisa paid for me. I did, however, take exception to the title of the event. I think the planners were using the term "celebrity" in a very broad sense. The most luminous star there was Malcolm Jamal Warner, who, although he is buff, must die a little inside every time someone calls him "Theo." (And you know they do, no matter how many of these open shirt photos he poses for.) The remainder of the notables were TV soap stars. Since I haven't watched a soap opera since Robin Wright Penn played "Kelly Capwell" on Santa Barbara, this was meaningless to me.

I turned my attention to the crowd of fellow do-gooders (mixed in with a crowd of CPA's who had been at the bar earlier for an office party. You know they brought a good time.). Struggling actresses trolled the crowd for agents and managers, hoping for a chance encounter that would land them the role of Female Wino on the upcoming "holiday party" episode of the "Young and Restless". The disturbing amount of plastic surgery gave them a partially melted Joan-Rivers-Candle-from-the-Christmas-Tree-Shops appearance. I can't imagine why Malcolm Jamal Warner's retinue moved through the crowd without noticing any of them, any more than I can imagine why on earth Malcolm Jamal Warner requires a retinue.

The other half of the crowd (besides the CPA's) were a murky bunch who had made the trip special to see their favorite soap stars live and in person. I kind of think, after spending some time with these ladies (they were all ladies), that being a soap opera devotee is a lifestyle choice. It take a commitment to QVC that I have not mastered, and a devotion to Ann Romano's hairstyle during her "One Day at a Time" phase. Still, I admired their buoyant optimism. They sure were glad to be there, drinking white Zin on a Wednesday. They didn't even mind that the male leads from their soaps are all gay; it was like they didn't even know...

Ok, so maybe the whole experience left me feeling a little snarky and out of sorts, but I now suspect the universe was setting me up for today's lesson. I'm taking a Spirituality & Practice eCourse with my sweet friend, Alpana. Every day we receive emails containing lessons for the day's practice based on the teachings of the illimitable Thich Nhat Hanh. Here, in part, is today's guidance:

"A human being is like a television set with millions of channels. If we turn the Buddha on, we are the Buddha. If we turn sorrow on, we are sorrow. If we turn a smile on, we really are the smile. We cannot let just one channel dominate us. We have the seed of everything in us, and we have to seize the situation in our hand, to recover our own sovereignty.

As you go through your day, notice what channel you are watching. Are you watching the peace, happiness, love, and compassion channel? Or are you watching the anger, sadness, hatred, or sorrow channel? When and why do you switch channels?"

When I was growing up, we had those old fashioned TV antennae called "rabbit ears." Mom would put til foil balls on the top end of each, to improve reception. My brother and I argued over the remote, which is to say we argued over who would have to get up and turn the two dials to one of our 4 channels (eg. turn the top to "U" and the bottom to "30" for NBC). This is how I am imagining myself today, as I adjust my rabbit ears to a more peaceful channel.

I like the idea of "recovering my own sovereignty" as well. It makes me feel royal as well as in control. My friend, Chris, often quotes his good buddy from college, a fellow named Angus McBryde, who, with his awesome name and his South Carolina accent, will undoubtedly end up a character in my screenplay. Angus would say this about your sovereignty during adversity: "You either bum, or you deal." It's the channel I'm tuning into today.

What channel are you on?