A friend of mine recently said he was a bit frustrated on his last birthday. He had hoped by his age, he would have a thing or two figured out, instead, it seems, confusion reigns. My guess it's a feeling we can all associate with. If this life's journey is one of moving toward our truest selves, the closer we come to a willingness to pursue authenticity (a remarkably scary prospect, for some reason), the more undone we feel. Opening our hands means loosening our grip on familiarity, and the ensuing ambiguity can feel like a free fall. Still, we can take comfort that there's a net that will prevent the feared thud.
I don't want to go all "you complete me" on you, but I am thinking that when we pay attention to connectivity and to what our hearts need at any given moment, the universe will send us the people we need. The expected ones, the unexpected ones; the ones who will stay a short time, and the ones who will reappear after long absences. These are the people who comfort us, who teach us, and who make us laugh. I know, I know: God's Army is a favorite topic here. Then again, the universe tugs us back to the truths we need, over and over, as often as our hearts need reminding. And sometimes we need reminding that the silver light of the heart strings are unbreakable; they have us securely tethered after the leap.
Disappointments, loss, and suffering are tireless, it's true, but as Gregg Levoy writes, "you will also suffer loss, and that loss is a skill." Invisible spirit hands lift and guide us through these times, just as people hands will hold and warm us. The skill can't be learned without the letting go, but the letting go doesn't have to happen in a vacuum. Ambiguity is an uncomfortable place, but the learning to live with it is a team sport. Ask the universe for help, then pay attention to who comes along to help us.
And you?
Do you trust God's Army?
